Amani. I hope you're doing the best you can as we move toward the end of Fall and into Winter (at the time of writing). Detatchment from people, places, and things has been a theme for me lately, and I wanted to share a unorthodox phrase that has helped me learn to detach in my everyday life.
Let's address the elephants in the room:
1) Yes; there is a curseword in the above phrase, and if it does not resonate with you to use said word, then don't.
2) Detachment, extending from detach is defined as:
1680s, "unfasten, disunite" (transitive), especially "separate for a special purpose or service," from French détacher "to detach, untie," from Old French destachier, from des- "apart" (see des-) + attachier "attach"
In other words: this doesn't mean you shouldn't have concern or care for others, but that you must let go of (to a degree) of the things of this world. This a spiritually-minded principle, and may not logically make sense, but it is important to bear in mind as you read. Now that those are addressed, let's dive into why this phrase (at least in a modern/Western kind of way) is a great help for learning to detatch from things so that you can be "in the world, but not of the world" as the Bible says.
Because of the internet, we feel more involved in people's lives than we should sometimes. Couple this with the human NEED for connection, and we can find ourselves attached to many people, movements, and energies that have absolutely NOTHING to do with our daily lives. I become involved in the lives of the people I'm with (at least mentally) and As a Libra with a Libra stellium (aka I'm a LIBRA LIBRA) I absolutely Love and truly thrive in relationships, which means I must be mindful of all relationships I enter, personal or business. Libra or not, you can take notes from that alone.
Because of this, I've been in many situations where I had to "find myself" outside of the relationship. I've had to ask questions such as "who am I without xyz?" And I've gotten better with this exponentially.
Why do I bring this up? Because, as I've told my brother, and many co-workers, "A healthy level of 'FUCK IT' is necessary."
When people see this phrase, the first thought that comes to mind culturally is "I don't care." This is why the above quote where I say "HEALTHY LEVEL" is important. I don't care about who the guy next to me is talking to on the phone in traffic, But I do care that he drives safe, so that I can be safe as well. I don't care about how people may feel about me, but I do care about how I see myself. And bigger than these; we are ALL sometimes hit with situations that, if we attach ourselves to all the possible outcomes, end up destroying our mental state and our realtionships. We have to learn to detach from certain outcomes and really not care THAT MUCH when it comes to other people's problems, or situations where we may have messed up.
Does this mean we still show respect? YES. Love people from where you can. But this doesn't mean that ALL of their problems are yours, and I don't suggest doing that for both personal and karmic reasons.
Does this mean own up to your mistakes, missteps, and choices? YES, because you have to learn from the experience so you don't repeat it, but the lesson should be what defines you.
As you grow, you have to learn to see something, recognize it, say "Fuck It" and detach from it so you can either fix it or remove it from your space. This has helped me and hopefully it will help you.
Meditate on this today. Ameni.
*sidenote: this was originally inspired by a healer/influencer named Jasmine's Garden.