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  • Writer's pictureNate Jolley

Intimate Relationships: You and You

Amani. I hope all is well for you as we move into Spring (at the time of writing).

Given the state of people today, I can completely understand why relationships are such an important topic (besides those who do so for profit). Today i wanted to touch on a concept that i personally think can make or break any relationship. It's this idea that you are in fact in relationship with yourself.

Now let's make this clear: I do not mean that the person you are in relationship with is a clone of you, that you and this person are exactly alike. If you were, you more than likely wouldn't be together. Nor do i mean that you should be dependent upon another person for anything, or unhealthily attached to another based on trauma. A TRUE RELATIONSHIP should be based on EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE, and you two should have qualities that help the other person in some way. If you do not, I would advise that you analyze the nature of this relationship.

Lets establish the first point, and it's the most obvious: WE ARE ALL CONNECTED. For you to be reading this we'd have to be connected in some way, whether it be language, country, ethnicity, culture or simply because of the internet. There is only ONE RACE (Human) and the various skin tones and ways of life are only the different expressions of humanity. This means that you are connected to your partner RIGHT NOW. The only caveat is the DEGREE of CONNECTION, which YOU determine. I suggest rereading the previous few sentences for clarity and understanding.

I stated the beginning of the next point in the second paragraph, but allow me to be more clear: You and this person should COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER. By this I mean that they should have qualities that you don't have, and vice versa. If you are spitting images of each other, you'd be better of alone anyway, because "sameness" doesn't allow for growth, which is the purpose of all things in existence, including relationships. The contrast is necessary for you to become your highest version, and you should be the same in IDEALS, VALUES, and VIBRATION not actions, though some actions may be similar (which doesn't mean alike). "One hand washes the other, both wash the face" is a quote from an old mentor that is perfect here. By using your qualities to help each other, you create a "clean face" i.e. you build a life together that is whole and happy. Both people can't drive the car.

Both of the previous statements being me to my final point and thesis statement: YOUR INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS ARE A REFLECTION OF YOURSELF. How you treat yourself will ultimately be how you treat the other person in the relationship. If you care deeply for yourself, you will care deeply for the other person. If you are hard on yourself, you will be hard towards the other person. Everything you do will be brought to the surface within the relationship you have with your partner. I know this through personal experience, as well as from a good friend that is married, and he expresses this same sentiment. Not only does your partner see what you may not (a callback to the previous point) but they ARE A REFLECTION OF YOUR CHOICES. You can tell A LOT about a person based on the partner they choose.

If you take all of these things into consideration, you are truly in a relationship with yourself. The masculine energy is supposed to follow God presentwithin, the feminine energy is supposed to follow him, and together they build a family and life together. Nature operates the same way, so I personally see no reason why our relationships should not reflect that. When you marry the two within you, you will be married externally (unless you married for other reasons, which is your choice of course).

I hope this will help any and all looking for a relationship or for those within a relationship looking for clarity. Meditate on this today. Amani (which means peace in Swahili).

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